I can't lie about it.
It's been a rough couple of months.
But it's getting better and maybe we'll be on the other side of this mountain soon.

Getting settled, finding employment, keeping a steady paycheck. It's been very tough for us. Financially and mostly emotionally. We've spent hours pouring over the computer finding places to apply at, hours talking to friends on the phones to use their respources and connections, going to the library to print the applications and resumes out, dropping them off in our nicest clothes and waiting for days...weeks for maybe a phone call. Then, you get a call for a possible interview at a place you really don't want to work at, but will so you can provide for your famiy. You interview and they turn you down because they can see based on your resume that this position is not where your passion lies. As Bobby put it: "Who really wants to sell furniture their whole life!?" If you someone to work then hire him!

Luckily, I was able to get a job with the state again. I very much DO enjoy my job, even with its intensity at times. I enjoy meeting families and children in need and working with them to help encourage the positives and the strengths I see in them. I want to help change the lives of adults and children in my community for the better. I have three years of this experience already.

I had looked into Liberty's Masters program: Masters of Art in Human Services-Emphasis on Marriage and Famlies. It's a 30 hours program, but I can have 6 hours transfer in so it would only be a 24 hours program and could be completed in less than a year. Because then, I would just need to take the Praxis II and could apply to be a guidance counselor and work more one-on-one with teenagers. I have daydreamed about this opportunity. I don't feel called to complete my Masters degree yet-but I daydream about it all the time. Until we feel called by God to go back to school-then we won't. The decisions I make affect my family-Bobby and Alyssa. If I go back to school, it causes our family to incur more debt financially and I would also miss outon spending quality time with my family. Like I said, until we are called back to school-then I suppose it's okay to daydream about it.

I started feeling better in August. It has been 6 months since my dad died and I feel stronger now than I have in the past when I think about him. Grandparents day was hard-I felt sorrow for Alyssa. I think I would have forgotten about this day, except at the daycare, the staff (super friendly and awesome staff!) did a craft project with her little handprint on it and a letter. I'd like to go back to his memorial at Arlington next year-I'm not sure if I'm ready yet.

We know that we are supposed to be here in Charleston-for how long, only God knows. We are continuing to seek His will for our lives. Please pray for us as we continue to pray and search for a job for Bobby.

I have enjoyed the sunny weekends at the beach! I've enjyed being unemployed for the last two months and being a stay at home mom. I've realized that for 5 of Alyssa's 9 months, I have been home with her. It certainly was unexpected and such a wonderful blessing!

Alyssa is now 20 pounds and working on crawling! She's still trying to get her knees up under her, but when she does, we're going to be in trouble! She can walk backwards in her walker and clap now! She continues to be a very happy baby and is doing great!

Bobby started working at "Palmetto Behavioral Health" in Summerville, SC. It's a residential corrective facility for juvenile males. He is also getting back into running alot. Our apartment complex is located in an area with miles of family friendly trails so he has been taking advantage of it!

I was offered employment with the Charleston County Department of Social Services and will start on September 2. I will be working to provide state recommended treatment services to famlies who have some type of abuse or neglect in their home. I also turned 25...and found many grey hairs.

We've been attending Summit Church (http://www.summitcharleston.com/) and are very excited to see how God is going to use us for ministry at this church. We went here while we were in college as well!

We're continuing to pray to see what God has planned for us. Sometimes, the Lord just wants us to wait and rest in knowing that He has only the best instore for us. Most times, I do not want to rest and be still and would much rather make something happen.

July 2009 Update

The move went smooth for the most part. Alyssa did great on the drive and had some restless nights with sleeping in different hotels each night. She is now back on schedule and sleeping through the nights again! Thank Goodness!! She is very much enjoying having her own bedroom and is working on crawling. She can push herself up and then she goes backwards! When she is on her back, she just wiggles around everywhere! Alyssa has also done well adjusting to a new climate and new people. She also has 4 teeth now!!

Bobby and I both have had interviews, but haven't heard much back from them. We are still applying and following up for jobs. In the meantime, we are doing our best finding work and enjoying the weather and sun!

June 2009

Bobby and I have been working at the Boys Ranch. Alyssa has been working on sitting up and, as of yesterday, getting a top tooth! We've gone to the pool a couple of times this summer and Alyssa very much LOVES the water! She is also working on drinking out a sippy cup and eating thicker foods!

As you may know, we are moving back to South Carolina! The movers will be here on 6/30. We should be in South Carolina by the 6th! We've done lots of packing and will be doing lots of driving this coming week! That's all we really have to update this month!

Father's Day

Growing up, I hated this day. It was just another reminder about my dad who wasn’t there. My dad left before I was born, but I would write him a letter or make him a stupid card on this day and then cry because I didn’t know where, or who, he was and throw it away. I didn’t even know his name until I was about 10. Once I found it out, there were a couple of times when I would look through the phonebook and call every “James Webb” I could find. I’d imagine what he was doing and where he was living and wonder why he didn’t want me. So, Father’s Day was nothing special to me until I was 18.

I found my dad when I was 18. It was an adventure. It was exciting and disappointing all at once. My dad, I learned, was not really a marrying/commitment type of guy. He was a “free-spirit” and kind of went where the wind blew him. He was a veteran of Vietnam and part of a large sibling group in a time when things weren’t easy. He did what he could and sometimes, wasn’t able to do much more than that. When he left, it wasn’t because of me-but he knew that it would be better for me without him.

During the time I met my Dad, I was attending Charleston Southern and was with a group of very strong & encouraging Christian friends. I spent some time in prayer and trying to figure things out. I didn’t want to be abandoned, I wanted to be loved, I wanted to have a father figure in my life that wouldn’t disappoint. I accepted Christ my freshman year of college and still continued to struggle and find my identity within him. The summer of 2003 I was a summer missionary in Hilton Head Island. Some sermon topics were about baptism and an offer to be baptized on the following Sunday. I prayed and made the decision to be baptized on the next Sunday-Father’s Day. On a day that stood for anger and bitterness, I was declaring that I was a child of God-someone who wouldn’t abandon me, who would love me, and who wouldn’t disappoint.

I visited with Dad a couple times a year and always enjoyed our time. I had six years with my dad before he got sick. The very last time I saw my dad, he told me that he loved me and that he always had, that he was sorry that he left, that he was not there for me and he wished that we had more time together.

Now, with Father’s Day tomorrow, I remind myself not to be overcome with sadness because it is a time to celebrate:

Celebrate that I was able to spend time with my Dad.

Celebrate the new role for Bobby as a Father to our daughter Alyssa.

Celebrate and remember the fact that I am a child of God and that He is my Father.

February 2009-Dad

Mr. James Ronald "Rony" Webb

October 02, 1951 - February 10, 2009

On Tuesday, February 10, 2009, James Ronald “Rony” Webb of Rockville, MD departed this life at the VA Medical Center in Washington, DC. Born October 2, 1951 in Bethesda, MD to Leilani Guss (nee Holbron) and the late Laurence Webb. He served in the United States Marine Corp during the Vietnam War and was a member of the American Legion Post 86 Color Guard in Rockville, MD. He was and avid outdoorsman and loved rafting. Devoted son of Leilani Guss of Beulaville, NC. Beloved father to Jason (Nicole) Webb of Okinawa, Japan; Amber (Shawn) Ramsey of Science Hill, KY; Virginia (Bobby) Vann of Minot, ND. Brother of Bobby (Donna) Webb of Oxnard, CA; Tommy Webb of Rockville, MD; Elaine Williams of Salt Lake City, UT; Arleen (John) Sleeman of Rockville, MD; Lillian Webb of Rockville, MD and Mary Webb of Beulaville, NC. He will also be missed by three grandchildren, Shon Hagan and Isaac Webb of Okinawa, Japan and Alyssa Vann of Minot, ND; a very special friend Mary Angelo and several nieces and nephews. He was preceded in death by a brother, Larry Webb and a sister, Charlene Shifflett. Funeral InformationA memorial service will be held Sunday, February 15, 2009 at Noon at the American Legion Post 86, 2013 Veirs Mill Road, Rockville, MD 20851.Inurnment to be determined at Arlington National Cemetery.

February 2009

My dad currently weighs 82 pounds. All you can see are his bones. He cannot sit up, cannot move his legs or his head. He can only drink water if you put it on your finger -then in his mouth. He cannot walk anymore. He has cysts on his pancreas, polyps in his colon, lesions on his liver and a liver biopsy came back positive for cancer-metastatic disease (as in it's been spreading) He's Stage 4. No chemo or radiation to treat the cancer as he is only 82 pounds. Morphine drip and glucose drip around the clock. If he doesn't have the glucose drip-within one hour of being without it- he will die. The doctors gave him 3 weeks at the most.

Today, I said good-bye to my dad.