Bobby's mom, Pam, passed away unexpectedly on June 2, 2010. She was 48 years old. Please keep our families in your prayers.
Bobby and Pam at our wedding
Pam, Bobby and Alyssa at Thanksgiving 2009Friday, June 4, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
I am just now realizing that today is the last day of May.
Tomorrow is the 1st day of June.
June is the month that our son will arrive!
Of course, we are simply waiting on him to make up his mind.
He did try to make an appearance in April.
It could be today.
But, I havent put away his clean clothes in his dresser yet, so
little man,
just wait a little bit longer, eh?
Monday, May 3, 2010
Ladies and Gentlemen-This is my Granny Tutu on May 1, 2010!
In February, Granny Tutu was not able to stand up or sit up at all. She could not remember very much due to swelling in her brain and dependant on a ventilator due to her lungs collapsing, and was given weeks left to live due to the various conditions that were ailing her as well as the fact that she cannot continue chemotherapy to treat the lung cancer. The situation was not looking good and we all took time to spend with Granny Tutu in February and March.
She does continue to have difficulty breathing at times and is on 24/7 oxygen, but has been off a ventilator and her lungs have healed for the most part. The swelling went down in her brain and she is sharp as a tack again. She is able to sit up in her hospital bed, sit in a recliner, sit in a wheelchair and even walk for short periods of time. She has been able to get out and enjoy her blooming garden. She is even getting ready to go to Maryland for a week to celebrate Mother's Day with family.
God has truly been watching over my Granny and yes, one day, maybe soon, she will pass away, but it is wonderful to see how good she is doing right now.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Two Years Ago Today...
We found out that we were pregnant!!
Now, Alyssa is a walking, talking toddler and is an absolute joy!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Somber Saturday...
Oy! It's been a while since I've updated. I can honestly say that while my mind has been racing for months, I've not wanted to say much to anyone really.
Expectations are a funny thing. People are people. They make mistakes. Quit expecting something different. Friends. Family. Co-workers. Whoever. Just be thankful when things go well with others and let it go when they don't. Relationships are fluid.
January: Granny was diagnosed with lung cancer. Granny started her first round of chemotherapy.
My aunt Kate died. Last I heard, her death was suspicious and there are a lot of questions surrounding her passing. As in-was my aunt murdered? Why so many secrets? I drove down to Florida with my mother-and given our history-it went alright. Mom said that she has been seeing a therapist and I actually believe her this time. Not just because she said it, but she took responsibility for what happened and why I ended up in foster care. After 10 years, she apoligized for putting alcohol and men before me.
I have been fine with this superficial relationship that my mother and I have had since I was a teenager. I call her most times, every couple of days to check in. She tells me about her farm, chickens, garden, whatever she is doing, and then our conversation is over. She doesn't ask questions like she is interested in my life, hobbies, feelings, etc and that's fine with me. Not only are relationships fluid, but they are not all the same. Different comfort levels. Different sets of boundaries. So, I have been fine with my mother seeming to not really care about the stuff that matters. And I've done my best to manage the emotions and feelings stemming from those years because you cannot expect resolution when a person is still an addict. But, now my mother is recovering, is in therapy, and...I really don't know how to deal with that I suppose.
February: One year passing since my father's death. I took this day off work and also had our ultrasound scheduled for that day. I figured the best way to remember the passing of someone close was to celebrate the life of his grandchild. I feel stupid that it's been a year and it still hurts. I ache to hear his voice sometimes. Just to hear him laugh again. I spent 18 years without it and just a few with it and...I'm left with this mess of feelings that are still all jumbled.
Also in February, my Granny underwent surgery to place a port in her chest to faciliate chemo easier. It wasn't healing up right and she went to the ER. Couple of weeks later, she woke up very disoriented and went to the ER. Long story short, she had swelling on her brain, her lungs ended up collapsing multple times (and once from being punctured from a surgical procedure) and the chemo was stoped indefinately. Granny is now off a ventilator, is home with hospice, and was given less than a month to live.
How do I let go of the anger and bitterness that I have held onto for so many years? How can I forgive my mother like Christ has already forgiven her? How can I think about my dad without feeling deep sadness about missing 18 years? Why do I try to continue to do this on my own? No wonder it's hard, right?
Expectations are a funny thing. People are people. They make mistakes. Quit expecting something different. Friends. Family. Co-workers. Whoever. Just be thankful when things go well with others and let it go when they don't. Relationships are fluid.
January: Granny was diagnosed with lung cancer. Granny started her first round of chemotherapy.
My aunt Kate died. Last I heard, her death was suspicious and there are a lot of questions surrounding her passing. As in-was my aunt murdered? Why so many secrets? I drove down to Florida with my mother-and given our history-it went alright. Mom said that she has been seeing a therapist and I actually believe her this time. Not just because she said it, but she took responsibility for what happened and why I ended up in foster care. After 10 years, she apoligized for putting alcohol and men before me.
I have been fine with this superficial relationship that my mother and I have had since I was a teenager. I call her most times, every couple of days to check in. She tells me about her farm, chickens, garden, whatever she is doing, and then our conversation is over. She doesn't ask questions like she is interested in my life, hobbies, feelings, etc and that's fine with me. Not only are relationships fluid, but they are not all the same. Different comfort levels. Different sets of boundaries. So, I have been fine with my mother seeming to not really care about the stuff that matters. And I've done my best to manage the emotions and feelings stemming from those years because you cannot expect resolution when a person is still an addict. But, now my mother is recovering, is in therapy, and...I really don't know how to deal with that I suppose.
February: One year passing since my father's death. I took this day off work and also had our ultrasound scheduled for that day. I figured the best way to remember the passing of someone close was to celebrate the life of his grandchild. I feel stupid that it's been a year and it still hurts. I ache to hear his voice sometimes. Just to hear him laugh again. I spent 18 years without it and just a few with it and...I'm left with this mess of feelings that are still all jumbled.
Also in February, my Granny underwent surgery to place a port in her chest to faciliate chemo easier. It wasn't healing up right and she went to the ER. Couple of weeks later, she woke up very disoriented and went to the ER. Long story short, she had swelling on her brain, her lungs ended up collapsing multple times (and once from being punctured from a surgical procedure) and the chemo was stoped indefinately. Granny is now off a ventilator, is home with hospice, and was given less than a month to live.
How do I let go of the anger and bitterness that I have held onto for so many years? How can I forgive my mother like Christ has already forgiven her? How can I think about my dad without feeling deep sadness about missing 18 years? Why do I try to continue to do this on my own? No wonder it's hard, right?
Friday, February 12, 2010
South Carolina Blizzard of 2010!
All the hub-bub about the snow coming and it all melted within two hours! Nothing compared to our North Dakota snows, but everyone in Charleston loved it! It started raining Friday eveing, turning into snow overnight and this is what we had a 9am!
Alyssa and Mommy
Alyssa and Daddy
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Introducing...
Introducing
Baby BOY Vann!!
We are thrilled to be having a BOY this time around! We are still due June 30! How exciting!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)